Eastbound neighbor. Two nice single ladies, not sure if they're biters.
Westbound neighbor. Jury is still out since they haven't introduced themselves. And vice versa...
Southbound neighbor. NAPALM YOUR F'N YARD.
Southbound neighbor, Jim, na...we'll call him Gym to retain some anonymity. Gym welcomed me to the neighborhood by offering me some of his fresh chocolate balls. (Pause for effect) Breathe easy, people, Gym is white and oddly enough his teeth are blue. Its like a pen leaked in his mouth while he was chewing on it. However, he makes flavored chocolate balls and sells them on the internet. Strawberry, banana, cherry, and my personal favorite, maple. I'm not sure how well his internet biz is going, but considering that he still lives next to me, not well.
Have you ever seen "The Burbs" or any movie involving a jungle? Thats Gym's yard, which spills over into my yard. Finding a blade of grass in his "yard" is like finding a christian at a gay rights rally. If ya look hard enough, you can find one!! This type of apathetic lawn control seems to make me think he isn't really the Mark Cuban of internet chocolate balls...who knew.
Lets play a game called, "If Gym's E-business was doing well..."
...he could find a day laborer at Home Depot to mow his lawn for him....he could afford a legitimate lawn service to tame his yard
...he could stop fostering delinquent juveniles, that don't mow lawns.
...he could marry a woman who can operate a John Deere push-mower.
...he would have a better job that didn't lead him to sleep all day and not mow his lawn.
...he would know that his crap-ass lawn/weeds/hedges are devaluing my house.
...he would live in a fuckin' mansion on Ward Parkway.
3 out of 4 neighbors isn't bad, I guess...
