This was orchestrated by a co-worker named, Nathan Ellis. He went to the trouble to locate a baseball card, forge a signature upon it, write me a letter posing as someone else. Oh and not to mention mail it...from a state 1,500 miles away. This is a classic case of fraud, man-fraud to be exact! I'm not really sure this even illegal. I've been attempting to pose as a competent human for atleast 26 years, while hiding my more slightly retarded side that is hungover majority of the time.
C
lick on the image to get the story summed up and witness the evidence that belongs in the Smithsonian...no, the Louvre...no wait, yeah the Smithsonian.If you have trouble reading the text within the JPEG due to the image quality, read below
"August 7th, 2009 blind-sided me as if I was Helen Keller running across the middle against the Steelers. I received this letter and autographed baseball card from my favorite baseball player ever, Robin Ventura.
This comes as a great/suspicious surprise. Weeks prior to this I had posted an "Irrelevant Scott Fact" on FAcebook stating, "When I was 2nd grade I wrote Robin Ventura asking for him to send me an augraphed baseball card...17 years later, I'm still waiting."
First, I used Google maps to realize that the return address was a fake. SHOCKER! Plus, the baseball card sent to me was from 1995. Robin Ventura retired from baseball in 2004. This is all I needed to start a list of the usual suspects. I had to get to the bottom of this because someone very crafty was crafty enough to use their craftyness to postmark the letter from Stamford, CT. CRAFTY!
Since, none of my friends of family are smart...or crafty, I was forced to look somewhere else. Only a true master...nay...senior artist could put together something so flawless and beautiful. I am not here to name names...but it rhymes with Schmathan Schmellis. Great hoax, I tip my cap to you, good sir!"
